Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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