I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
