Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
