I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
