Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
