I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So vagazzling was a success
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
