don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
