I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
