Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
