i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
