OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
