i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
