OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I want to be your penis for a week.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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