What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
