dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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