If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
