Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
