worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
