I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
