I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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