Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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