i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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