listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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