how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
