Can i not drive my cunt home
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize