Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize