tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
