i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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