I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There's always time for handjobs
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
