Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
