I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
