Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
