whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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