I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
