do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
