I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
