quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize