I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize