I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
