i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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