She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
accomplished twins. life is a go
honey bunches of taint.
where does the pee come out of this thing
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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