I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
