I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
