for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
