After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
