Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
