is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
