He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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