I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize