Yo dont text me then not text me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
