I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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