So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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