I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
