I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize