i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
