God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
