I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
