My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
