i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
