Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
