I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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