Im at strip club and am horny
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
