Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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