final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
