he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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