I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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