i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
